I was lucky to have the opportunity to go to Shackelford Island, North Carolina over Thanksgiving. It was 2 days of massive photo taking. This is one of my favourite shots from the trip.
I’ve got some sad news. Last week, my beloved cat passed away. We buried her and had our own ceremony for her. It was tough but I promised to allow myself to feel the fullness of my grief.
When I made that promise, I had no idea how deep that grief was and how hard it was to NOT suck it back. I know that feeling the full range of emotions runs both ways. From rapturous joy to soul-wrenching sadness, I decided to be Brave in Pain and in Joy.
It also made me think about the holidays and the inner war that can start running wild!
Do any of these ring a bell?
I’m so fat.
I hate how I look.
I just don’t have any discipline.
And I’m lazy.
I procrastinate about everything.
I’m too old – no one will want me.
I never do anything right.
My kids can’t stand me. I’m a horrible dad.
My boss is ungrateful. All he wants is more, more, more.
My husband is clueless. He never listens to me.
That school board member is a jerk.
My son’s teacher is so full of herself.
Our political system is corrupt.
There’s nothing I can do to change things.
The whole world is going to hell in a handbasket.
I used to be masterful at this kind of inner war. I spent so much time and energy worrying, being hard on myself, and complaining about the world. Hell, I’d even had arguments in my head with people I didn’t even know!
But today things are different. A lot of what I learned came from spending time with horses and creating art.
First, when I find myself in a particularly negative mind state I move.Literally! I learned this from my horse Flutter. He always burns off energy by galloping around and squealing.
Second, I change my focus to something else. Horses are such good teachers for this moment-to-moment awareness.
Finally, I refuse to participate in negativity. I make it a point to look for the good and release my resistance to being wronged.